Thursday, April 18, 2013

The night of May 4th.

Salam brothers and sisters.

I realized I haven't been talking much about a tragedy, the one that changed a huge part of my life completely.

On May 4th 2012, I was in Manipal India as I was doing my preclinicals there. Around 5 pm, I was awatching the lecturers playing volleyball when I had a strange sense of homesicknes striking, overwhelming me in a way that I never felt before. I mean yes, i have always been homesick, but not to the point that I wanna be alone and do nothing.  So after the game ended, I went back home straight to my apartment, waited for Maghrib to sleep it off. To make matters worse, my scoliosis decided to inflict some pain on me and that drained the energy out of me.

So before I went to sleep, I put my phone on silent and tweeted

"Calling it a day. Salam and Goodnight everyone"

To which my father replied ;

"Salam and goodnight"

I was shocked that he rplied and he was not the one who always reply tweets and without realizing that I still had my contact lenses on, I went to sleep, on the floor, as usual (everytime my backpain comes I'd sleep on the floor)

around 930pm India tme (around 11pm Malaysia time), Naurah (my housemate) knocked my door and showed me her phone, asking me, Syasya is this your father Dr MAZA is talking about?

Me, being the sleepy me, I read "Amat sedih sekali menerima berita kematian Dato' Fickry Yaacob, boss Karangkraf, or something like that. So i replied "Yeah yeah it's my father.

Straight away i checked my phone and I saw a couple of missed calls from my mom, a bbm from my elder sister asking me to be patient and she said "Papa dah meninggal"... and another bbm from my younger sister was of a photo of my father, lying unmoved on the floor at the living room, covered with kain batik and my eldest brother was sitting next to him. As if he was talking to him.

Still, I did not cry then. I told my sister..

"Kak wanie, sya habis exam, sya balik k? Sya ok"

I quickly went online and search for flight tickets until at one point, i couldnt find any flight out straight to Bangaloe and I cried, still under control. I passed the whole ticket thing to my friends, Nabilah, Naurah and some of the boys.

A few friends came by and I was not crying in front of them, I had this sense of self guard on my feelings that i don't usually cry in front of my friends.

A couple hours went by, still there's no flight out that can get me out of Manipal on that night itself. Shortly after that, Jhar called and say, there's a cab that can take me to Bangalore and Nabilah phoned right after saying that there's a flight out from Bangalore to KL bia singapore. The earliest flight is 9 am. or 930am. I cant really remember. I told my mom my flight details she said, if Allah wills, I'll get the chance to see the last of my father as she had told my ncle i think, to delay the burial ceremony a lil later than planned.

I took the cab with Naurah and Farhana Bakri to Bangalore, it took us around 10 hours and I finally reached Bangalore around 7. Farhana and Naurah took a flight back to Manipal shortly after and IEzzat Razini, Izzat Azhar and a friend of theirs (they are my seniors in KMS, studying in Bangalore)  helped me with my ticket to KL. I was crying a lil bit, but not that much.In the meantime, I called my bestfriends in KL, tunku nurul to come and pick me up at KLIA later. Waited for one more hour before I can finally go in the departure hall and straight away i went to the baby room to pray Fajr and waited for Dhuha.

It was THAT MOMENT that made me realize that my father had gone, to a better place of course.

You might wonder, what was it that made me realized he was never gonna be with me anymore?

Because when I pray, I asked Allah to grant my father goodness in the dunya and the hereafter.

Seconds after that, I realized that there's no more dunya for my father.

to be continued...

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